did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
