Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
