Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
