I don't usually arrange sex via text message
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
