never play flip cup with pint glasses
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
