As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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