me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
