Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she told me i tasted like america
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
