I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just blew my weed a kiss
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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