omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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