this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
