Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize