you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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