lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
