The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I deserve this hangover.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
