Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
