come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
