Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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