The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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