He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
