i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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