your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
