I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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