My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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