Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize