I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
