my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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