Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
