if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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