Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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