and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
