I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
