2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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