Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
