I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
