Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
