We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
