id be glad to
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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