I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize