I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
