dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
