I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
