Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
