My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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