were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
