Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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