youre lurking in front of me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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