They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
