Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
