also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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