I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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