VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
And then he peed in my hair
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