yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
