Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
