just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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