Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
