I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize