I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
