I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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