sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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