he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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