ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
