Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
