it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
