everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
