He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
