i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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