Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
