And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
